


Officer Hot Pants

by XaviaAndromedovna



Series: An Officer and a Medic [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Attempted Seduction, Birthday Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Officer Hot Pants, Pre-Slash, Roleplay, Stripping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 11:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10615617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XaviaAndromedovna/pseuds/XaviaAndromedovna
Summary: Donut resurrects Officer Hot Pants for one night only!  Too bad it doesn't go the way he intended.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "role playing" square on the Medic card for RvB Bingo Wars!

There isn’t much to do at an abandoned base when there’s only two humans and an inactive robot who’s busy guarding vegetables. Sure, in the beginning most of Donut’s time was spent healing from a gunshot wound, but after three and a half weeks he’s bored, restless, and _horny_.

Doc is an absolute sweetheart, and he’s certainly not hard on the eyes. He mentioned offhand last week that he’s bisexual, so Donut’s confident he has a shot with him. He just needs to make his move. Baked goods don’t seem to be communicating “I think you’re hot please fuck me”, but at least Doc makes cute noises when he tries his cookies (well, between fussing over him and trying to corral him back into bed, the not-fun way). It seems Donut will have to be more direct.

Doc’s birthday’s coming up, and that’s when he gets the idea. The medic wasn’t there for Sarge’s birthday that year, so the routine will be all new for him. He kicks Doc out of the house for the day and gets to work baking the real cake as he wheels the inner cakebox and uniform out from storage. It’s much more slow-going this time with his midsection being uncooperative, but if that’s what it takes to get laid around here that’s what he’ll do.

At 1830h as instructed, Doc re-enters the living space he and Donut share. “Hello? Donut? Oh wow, that cake’s huge! I wonder how long it took to bake.” Just then, music from out of nowhere starts playing, and suddenly the top is bursting off the cake to reveal Officer Hot Pants in all his stripper glory.

“You have the right to remain sexy, Birthday Boy! I think I need to take you down to the station and give you a full body search!”

Doc is shocked but he seems to be enjoying it, at least more than his ungrateful teammates did the first time. Everything goes according to plan until Donut tries to get out of the cake. He gets one leg out but slips on some icing and falls to the ground. “Fuck, Donut! Are you okay?” Doc rushes over and kneels next to him. Even when he’s concerned his face is adorable.

”Yeah, I’m fine. I might have ripped my stitches though. Can you check?” Doc tries to lift up Donut’s shirt but it’s too tight for that. “You have to rip it open,” Donut instructs. “It’s okay, they’re snaps.” Doc rips open the uniform shirt and inspects the wound under the bandages.

“Well it looks okay but we should keep an eye on it. We should get you into the bed.” Doc helps him to his feet and they make their way to Donut’s room, where rose petals and candles are strewn about. Doc stops in the doorway as Donut helps himself into bed. “Well this is nice! A very relaxing atmosphere for you— that should help.”

Donut looks at it all and starts laughing hysterically. “Yeah, very relaxing. Some night this turned out to be.”

“I’m sure whatever you had planned would’ve been great.”

“Actually my plan was to seduce you and give you a birthday blowjob, but that’s pretty much out of the question right now. Good thing I got a back-up present! It’s on your bed, and dinner’s in the oven, it should be ready soon. I’m just gonna lie here for a bit.”

Doc is staring resolutely at the floor. “Well then, I’ll bring you some food once you feel up to it. Let me know if your wound re-opens.”

Donut sighs. “Thanks, Doc. Y’know, one of these days I’m gonna take care of _you_.”

The shy wink Doc directs his way before he leaves indicates Donut’s plan may have worked after all.


End file.
